


Just Steven Universe.

by SnapTheVolleyNerd



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), steven universe future - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:41:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22644304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnapTheVolleyNerd/pseuds/SnapTheVolleyNerd
Summary: "I'm not Pink Diamond, and I'm not Rose Quartz. I'm...just me. Just Steven Universe.""Exactly. And we all love you for being who YOU are, Steven."Connie was desperate to help him, to make him realize that he was his own person.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 40
Kudos: 129





	1. Struggles

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaaaa my first su fic!!! I hope you enjoy it!

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear his phone ringing. That’s right, he hadn’t called her in such a very long time. He struggled to open his eyes, and was surprised to be met with complete darkness. He reached for his phone, still buzzing and playing her ringtone.

“H-hello?”

He cringed at the sound of his own voice. He sounded so damn tired.

“ _Steven!_ Oh thank God you answered, I was so worried!”

“What-Connie, I’m fine, did something happen?”

“Steven, Pearl called me. I’m coming over tomorrow morning. I know you told the gems that you needed some space, and I know you do. But I can’t just not see you. I’m so scared for you, Steven!”

Steven let out a tired sigh, as he realized just how big of a mess his outburst had made. Not only that, but now Connie was worried too. She was busy enough already, she shouldn’t be worried about him.

“Steven, me being worried about you is _not_ going to affect my studying! I’m already ahead, and I got special permission to take some time off of school to be with you!”

 ** _Fuck_**. He hadn’t thought he had said that out loud.

“Connie, really, I’m fine. I-I just need…some time alone, okay?”

“ _No._ I am coming over, whether you like it or not. And you had better still be there when I get there! I have to go now, but please…just promise me you’ll still be there in the morning?”

He sighed once again.

“I promise, Connie.”

“Good. And Steven? I love you, and don’t you ever forget that.”

“I-I love you too, Connie.”

They had grown more used to saying ‘I love you’, just as friends now, but they were plagued by almost everyone asking if they were dating. Steven let out a soft groan. He had really hoped that he would just have some time to deal with all these thoughts that were floating through his mind at all times.

“Come on Steven, y-you’re okay. I’m not mom. I’m not Pink Diamond, and I’m not Rose Quartz.”

He was in the bathroom now, he flinched as he turned the light on. He glanced at the mirror, and was astonished to see that _he was still pink_.

“Oh no. No, no, no, no! W-why am I still **_PINK_**!? C-come on Steven, get it together! I-I gotta…w-what do I…”

“ _Steven_? Are you okay?”

“P-Peridot! W-what are you-“

“I wanted to check on you, Amethyst said that something happened between you and the gems…Lapis didn’t want to bother you this late, but-“

_Spinning, spinning, spinning._

_Someone was talking to him._

_Yellow?_

_A loud yell, who was it?_

_Where was he?_

_Just a moment ago he was in the bathroom._

_He was…on the floor?_

“ _What do you **mean** , he collapsed!? Where is he now?!”_

“Connie, please, calm down.”

“No, Pearl, he’s not okay, and I’m not going to calm down until I see him!”

Connie was furious. She could tell that the gems were hiding _something_ from her, and she had to find out what it was.

“Oh stars, you’re finally awake!”

Peridot’s voice could be heard throughout the house, as Connie rushed to Steven’s room, faster than any of the gems. There he was. Steven, but…he looked so different. He wasn’t the same Steven she had seen a few months ago. He had lost so much weight. He looked exhausted, even though he was now awake.

“S-Steven!”

Before Pearl could even enter the room, Connie responded.

“ **None of you are going in there until I talk to him, _do I make myself clear_**?”

She left no room for argument, and the gems stepped back, leaving the house.

“Peridot, fill me in on what happened last night?”

“W-well…I came to check on Steven because Amethyst told Lapis and I that something had happened, and I was worried. When I got here, he was walking out of the bathroom, and he looked really scared. And he was _pink!_ ”

“Ugh…C-Connie?”

“Steven! No, don’t sit up, it’s okay. You and I need to have a talk.”

Peridot took the opportunity to head back to Little Homeworld, and fill in Bismuth and Lapis.

“You haven’t been eating.”

She wouldn’t look him in the eyes, so he just stared at the ceiling. He sighed.

“N-no, I haven’t been hungry.”

He heard her shift on the bed, and he looked towards her. She had tears in her eyes.

“Steven, what’s going on? With you? Please, talk to me!”

He couldn’t lie anymore. Especially not to her.

“I-I just…I’ve been having nightmares again, a-and I feel like everyone is moving on, but I-I’m still stuck here.”

She took his hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Come on Steven. We’re going somewhere else for awhile, okay?”

He opened his mouth to protest, but the look she gave him left no room to argue. His whole body ached, as he struggled to get up. Connie gently helped him stand, and pack a bag.

“Alright, I’ve got the basics for clothes, now what else do you need, Steven?”

“Um…my phone charger, and my notes for Little Homeschool…I started a couple term schedules and I promised I’d finish them.”

“Steven, no work.”

“But-“

“ ** _No._** ”

He shut his mouth, knowing that she was going to continue to say no. Groaning, he let Connie lead him to her car, where she buckled him in tightly, put his bag in the trunk, and turned on some relaxing music. Once they started driving, Steven was asleep in moments.

Connie looked over to Steven, before getting out of the car. They needed some gas, and some snacks.

“Hey, Steven? Come on, wake up. It’s time for some snacks, what sounds good?”

“Mmh…Connie?”

She chuckled at the dazed looking Steven that was still sleepy.

“Yep, still me. How about some popcorn? And juice?”

He nodded before leaning back against the door, wanting to get more sleep. She shook her head as she headed into the gas station.

Steven was still asleep when she came back out. She was glad. They still had a few more hours of driving, so she had gotten herself an iced coffee, that she had resolved to have finished by the time Steven woke up.

For the first time in months, Steven slept soundly.


	2. Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie has a variety of surprises for Steven, in an attempt to help him somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UR BOI IS DEAD TIRED BUT HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER

When Steven woke up, his thoughts immediately went the warmth that was coming from his side. Connie. She had decided to sleep next to him, despite the fact that there was another bed, not more than three feet from the one they were currently on.

At least Connie was still there.

“Hey, Connie? A-are you awake?”

He frowned at his voice. Still tired. But then he realized she must have driven them quite a long way. He couldn’t feel the presence of any other gem, and he was shocked at how much that calmed him. HE hadn’t even realized that he _could_ feel when gems were near.

“Steven? What’s the matter?”

Connie asked him sleepily.

“Um…i-it’s just that…I don’t feel any other gems nearby, Connie. And…i-it’s really nice.”

“I didn’t know you could sense gems, Steven!”

She was more awake now, and was pulling him into her arms.

“Now, we have a lot to talk about. We’re not gonna do it all at once, but I think now would be a good time to start, don’t you?”

His breath hitched, but he nodded.

“Alright, what do you want to start with?”

He hesitated, before quietly whispering.

“I-I never told the gems that White pulled my gem out…”

“Is that why you’ve been having nightmares?”

He nodded. Almost every night, he had been reliving that day.

“Sometimes…sometimes it gets worse, too. And I’ll s-see Pearl getting poofed, o-or Amethyst’s gem cracking, sometimes I even see Garnet being split in half…”

He was crying now, letting the tears flow down his cheeks, as Connie held him tightly.

“Hey, look at me, Steven. It’s okay. It’s okay that these things _hurt_ you. And it’s okay to _let yourself_ feel hurt. If White scares you this much, maybe you should stop visiting her for awhile. After all, Spinel is there now, okay?”

Somewhere deep down, he knew that Connie was right. But he still felt the need to fix everything.

“B-but…I-I ha-have to fix i-it!”

He hiccupped as Connie rubbed circles into his back.

“Shhh. No, you don’t. You’ve spent your whole life helping other people, and fixing all of the horrible things that Pink Diamond did. Now, you need to let _yourself_ be helped, okay?”

He was clinging to her now, as if she was the only thing keeping him grounded. She was surprised when his cheeks began to glow pink, but rather than drawing any attention to it, she gently wiped his tears away.

“Steven, you are amazing. I mean look at all of the things that you’ve _already_ done. It’s time for you to just slow down for a while, okay?”

She held him even tighter, as his cries grew louder. She thanked their lucky stars that she had opted for a relatively sound proof room.

It had taken two hours for Steven to cry himself back to sleep. Connie had ever so carefully laid him down, as she went out to get breakfast. She made sure to leave a note, so if he woke up while she was gone, he wouldn’t panic.

“…miss? Miss, can I help you?”

She had been looking for some easy breakfasts and had somehow wound up at a small diner.

“Uh, yes, I was wondering if you made meals to go?”

The waiter released a long suffering sigh, and responded in the affirmative.

“I’ll take two orders of scrambled eggs and bacon, a stack of waffles and one breakfast burrito, to go, please!”

She paid and sat down, waiting for her order. She was anxious to get back to Steven. Her order number was called, just as her phone began to ring. Juggling her phone, keys and their breakfasts, she answered her phone. It was Steven.

“I’m heading back right now, Steven, I just got breakfast.”

“ _Connie…um, can you maybe bring back some fresh berries?_ ”

“Of course! I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“ _Okay. Love you_.”

“Love you too.”

She hung up, finally managing to put their hot food in the passenger seat. Turning the key in the ignition, she pondered where would have the best fresh fruit. It didn’t take her long to decide on where she’d check first.

Steven was laying in bed still, feeling more at peace than he had in such a very long time. Maybe Connie was right. He scoffed.

“Of _course_ Connie is right! She’s really smart, so she probably knows what these feelings are like…”

He sighed deeply, looking at the ceiling. He hadn’t had any nightmares last night. In fact, he had had beautiful, peaceful dreams. Dreams of what life could have been like, had he been born entirely human. If Pink Diamond had never existed. He had been so happy in those dreams.

The door clicked open, and he smelled something that was so familiar.

“Steveeen! I made something special for you!”

He looked in awe at the dish that he had said had far too much sugar in it.

“T-together breakfast?”

“Yep! Although, the waffles aren’t homemade, but I hope you like it anyway!”

He sat up at last, as Connie set down their food for a few moments, to wrap an incredibly soft blanket around his shoulders. Before he could protest, she put a small bite of his breakfast in his mouth.

Steven thought he was going to melt. It tasted so good, and he was so comfy, and Connie was here too!

Connie giggled at the silly face he was sure he must’ve made. She fed him another bite, this time loaded with berries and whipped cream. And for just a moment, they were little kids again, with no worries about the future.

Once Steven finished his breakfast, Connie curled up by his side, ready to dig into her own breakfast. She turned the TV on, and was surprised to see Crying Breakfast Friends playing. At the look on Steven’s face, she knew they were going to be watching it until it was over.

Connie munched on her burrito and berries as Steven intently watched his old favorite show. She sighed happily. She wished it could always be like this, but she knew that it wasn’t possible.

It was around one in the afternoon by the time they had dragged themselves out of their cozy hotel room. Connie had insisted on the two of them taking a walk in the sunlight. At first, Steven had sulked about walking when all he wanted to do was sleep, but as they soaked up more and more sunshine, he started to smile. A smile that Connie hadn’t seen for years now, she thought to herself.

“Connie, oh my gosh, look!”

It was a large dog, and she wondered if the it reminded him of Lion.

“Excuse me sir, but can we pet your dog?”

Steven was only a tiny bit embarrassed that Connie asked, but as soon as the man said yes, he was crouching to pet the dog.

“Aww, who’s the best boy? You are, yes you are!”

Connie could barely contain her giggles. She was glad that Steven still adored animals so much.

“Thanks for letting us pet your dog, mister!”

Connie grabbed Steven by the hand.

“Come on, I want to show you something.”

“W-where are we going, Connie??”

She chuckled.

“You’ll see!”

Connie seemed really excited to show him something, but he had no idea what it could possibly be. When she finally pulls him into a deceptively large area, secluded by a huge amount of flora.

As she leads him through the bushes he sees several different types of wild flowers. The sun filled the area, and it felt so calm and peaceful here.

“Connie, this place is amazing.”

“I used to come here when I was little, and mom had to travel for work sometimes. I thought you might like it too, Steven.”

The two sit down, neither one speaking just yet, soaking up the natural beauty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me two days ago: "oh yeah, I can totally start a THIRD fanfic, on top of my three ongoing comics, plus my fulltime job and very busy social life!"
> 
> Me today: "fool. I was a fool."


	3. Why Can't I Move On?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie insists on Steven at least MEETING a therapist, and it turns out better than she could have hoped....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally cried while writing this ;-;

“Steven, I’m really glad that this is turning out to be so good for you, but I didn’t tell you about another surprise. I’m a little worried you’re not gonna like it…”

Steven groaned into his pillow. He already had a pretty good idea what the next surprise was.

“I scheduled an appointment for a therapist for you, Steven, with your dad’s help.”

“ _What_.”

He wasn’t really all that surprised, but it wasn’t entirely expected either. He sank deeper into the mattress, as he realized he was going to _have_ to talk about his mental health now.

“I know you **_really_** don’t want to talk about anything that’s been bothering you, Steven. But today, you did, at least a little bit. And I’m really proud of you for that.”

He felt the bed dip beside him, and soon he felt Connie rubbing his shoulders.

“Steven, you’ve helped so many people. Now I want to help you. And part of that means seeing Mr. Barley. He helped my parents and I out a _lot_ , and I think you’ll really like him too. And if you do, we can set up more regular appointments for you, okay?”

“Mmhm.”

Steven was exhausted from the amazing day they had already had, and knew that he could trust Connie. But there was still this nagging voice in the back of his head. And if he could keep it a secret, he was pretty sure he’d be okay.

He heard a light sniffle, and rolled over to see Connie crying softly.

“I-I’m just so wor-worried for you, Steven!”

His eyes grew wide, as she clung to him. He hadn’t realized that he was worrying her so much.

“I’m s-so scared that-that you’ll start t-trying to cope with really bad th-things! I kn-know a kid in school who tried to kill herself…a-all because she felt so alone.”

Steven sat up, and gathered Connie in his arms.

“Connie, I’ll go to therapy, I promise. A-and I’ll learn the…”

Oh what were the words he had heard before?

“…healthy coping mechanisms. And I promise I’ll call you whenever I start to feel bad, okay?”

Even Steven was doubting his own sincerity at this point, but by GOD, he was going to try. If there was anything in the whole galaxy that he hated, it was seeing Connie cry.

The two curled into each other, each one whispering words of comfort to the other, as they drifted into a deep, rejuvenating sleep.

Connie had helped Steven pick out a comfortable, soft outfit for the day. He was wearing a sweater that Connie had borrowed from his dad, along with some soft brown pants. Connie held his hand as they walked towards the therapist’s office. She could feel him shaking as they got closer. She looked at him, smiling softly.

“It’s gonna be okay, Steven. I promise. Now look at me, if you want me to go in there with you, I will. But that’s up to _you_. Okay?”

He nodded, as they entered the building.

“W-will you please…?”

“Of course I will, Steven.”

Connie responded before he could even finish his question. The next thing she did was greet the receptionist, quietly letting her know that Steven had asked her to come with him to the therapy session.

“You must be Steven Universe. Connie here has told me quite a bit about you, young man.”

“Sh-she has?”

Mr. Barley smiled at the two children who were huddled together on his sofa. Connie had filled him in on how Steven’s mother hadn’t been from Earth, and a variety of other things, which her mother had confirmed to be true.

“Yes, she has. So I’d be prepared to really help you. Now, why don’t we start with a few questions?”

Steven nodded hesitantly.

“I noticed that you seemed rather…apprehensive of this visit, Steven. Can you tell me why?”

He took a mental note of Connie gently squeezing his hand and nodding at him.

“U-uhm…I-I think that m-maybe it’s because…I’ve spent my whole life trying to help others?”

Connie nudged him.

“O-okay, fine, _jeez_. S-so, since I was a little kid, I’ve always been trying to fix e-everything that…”

He took a deep breath.

“M-my mom did. She…she did a lot of really bad stuff. She hurt a lot of people…badly. A-and I’ve been trying s-so hard to fi-fix it all!”

He wasn’t at all surprised when Steven started crying. He was a little shocked when he started to glow pink, however. The glow calmed down as Connie wrapped her arms around him, unafraid.

“I know, Steven. I know. It’s okay.”

Mr. Barley watched in awe, as Connie helped him breathe through his…whatever exactly that was.

“Steven, why exactly do you feel responsible for so many things that _you never did_?”

From the shocked expression on Steven’s face, he could tell that he hadn’t been asked that before.

“B-because I have her gem? I-I guess? But…maybe it could also be because…I kinda got kidnapped by her family a few years ago?”

He felt his glasses slipping down, as he processed what this _seventeen year old boy_ had just told him.

“And how do you feel about that right now, Steven?”

Another nudge from Connie, alongside a whisper that he couldn’t hear.

“W-well. See this gem, here, in my belly?”

He lifted his shirt to show his gem, as Mr. Barley nodded.

“I-I need it to survive. That’s why my mom…died. Well, when I was kidnapped, White Diamond, the um-the-the ruler of Homeworld, she-she…”

His words were cut off by a choked sob. Connie whispered into his ear, he nodded, tears refusing to stop.

“She…pulled out Steven’s gem, Mr. Barley. I was there when it happened. It…it was terrifying. And at that time…all of his guardians were under the control of White Diamond, and don’t have any memory of what happened for the time that they were under her control.”

Sniffling, Steven finally spoke up again.

“I-I st-still have n-nightmares. E-even though I talk to White all the time now, and she’s better…w-why can’t I move on?”

“C-Connie?”

“Yeah, Steven?”

He hugged the stuffed lion that she had gotten him after their therapy session.

“Th-thanks for taking me to see Mr. Barley. I-I think I’d like to talk with him more…”

Connie smiled softly. She knew that he’d want to talk more, if she could just get him to the first session. She had arranged it so that Steven would be seeing Mr. Barley every day while they were visiting the small town.

Once Steven was all settled, and finally sleeping, she placed a call.

“ _Hey kiddo, how’s he doing?_ ”

“He’s doing a lot better already, Mr. Universe. He’s even agreed to more therapy sessions!”

The two shared a relieved sigh.

“ _I guess I better tell the gems how long he’s gonna be gone, huh?_ ”

“Just give them a rough estimate, Mr. Universe. I think being away from gems is helping him too.”

She heard him sigh on the other end, before agreeing.

Now that she had called Greg and filled him in, she was exhausted from the day. She laid down next to Steven, wrapping her arms around him, as they began to breathe in sync with each other. She fell asleep to the soft sound of Steven breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> but Steven needs therapy so bad ToT


	4. What now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a week since Connie took Steven to see Mr. Barley. Although the improvements are slow, they’re happening. Steven was able to sleep most nights, and his appetite was beginning to come back. He still had bad dreams some nights, but Connie was always right there to help him through it. But Greg was finally coming to visit, and Connie could barely contain her excitement over his surprise visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost died of fluff while writing this okay

It’s been a week since Connie took Steven to see Mr. Barley. Although the improvements are slow, they’re happening. Steven was able to sleep most nights, and his appetite was beginning to come back. He still had bad dreams some nights, but Connie was always right there to help him through it. But Greg was finally coming to visit, and Connie could barely contain her excitement over his surprise visit.

Steven was stretched out on a blanket, soaking up the sun and cuddling his stuffed lion. He was resting his head in Connie’s lap, as she read one of their favorite books to him. When they heard a car pull up, Steven didn’t even open his eyes. But when Connie stopped reading, he did.

“Connie, why did-“

He turned to see what she was looking at. Or rather, _who_ she was looking at.

“Dad!”

He was on his feet in the amount of time it took Greg to come running over to the pair, a smile on his face.

“Hey Schtu-ball!”

Connie watched the father/son duo hug, as Steven cried. But these were happy tears. He had been missing Greg far more than he’d realized.

“How’re you feeling, kiddo?”

“I-I’m feeling a lot better now, Dad, thanks to Mr. Barley and Connie!”

Greg ruffled his hair. He had been so worried for Steven.

“I’m glad that they were able to help you, Steven. You know, I was actually talking to Mr. Barley last night. He said that even before he met you, he had been planning on moving to Beach City. That means you can keep seeing him, you know.”

At first Steven looked disappointed, but then he smiled.

“Th-that’s awesome, Dad. Uh, h-how are the gems-“

“ _Steven_.”

Connie gave him a look. One of the first things that Mr. Barley had said for Steven to avoid for awhile was asking about the gems. As well as other people, in order to better focus on himself.

“Sorry, Connie. I just…I’m worried about them, you know?”

She sighed.

“Well, I guess you can ask this _one question_ , it has been awhile. But after that, we have a few more surprises for today, Steven!”

Greg smiled, still a bit concerned.

“Well, Pearl…didn’t take it that great, Steven. But she’s been spending a lot of time with Volleyball, and they actually went on a date a couple days ago!”

Steven and Connie both looked at him in shock.

“Garnet’s been doing an amazing job running Little Homeschool, and I help out here and there when I can. She’s been teaching the newer gems about fusion. And Amethyst?”

He chuckled.

“She’s been doing pretty great. I mean, she misses you, they all do. But they know that you needed this. They also asked me to give you this the next time I saw you.”

Greg handed an envelope to Steven, whose hands trembled as he took it. It was signed by all of the Crystal Gems, not just the three he had grown up with. He smiled as he recognized each gem’s specific handwriting. Pearl’s was the neatest, but right next to hers was Volleyball’s. He opened the envelope, and out came a variety of letters. Some in Gem, some in English, and some were a mash of the two.

“I-I think I’ll wait to read these, Dad.”

It was easy to tell that Steven really did miss the Gems, but he wanted to allow himself to heal before he went back home. He smiled as he shuffled the letters back into the envelope.

“Hey Dad, do you want to come with Connie and I to see Mr. Barley?”

“Sure thing, Schtu-ball.”

Although Steven wasn’t going to admit it anytime soon, he was excited for his dad to meet his therapist. He hadn’t even realized he was still carrying his stuffed lion, as the trio walked back to the hotel. Steven was overjoyed to see Greg pointing out that his room was right next to theirs. When Greg knocked on their door, he was holding a sweater, which he held out to Steven.

“Well, I-I heard you liked the sweater I sent with you guys, so here’s another one of my old ones, kiddo.”

“Thanks Dad!”

Steven slipped the sweater on, as Connie finished putting her hair back up. They were all ready to head over to see Mr. Barley.

“It’s nice to finally meet you face-to-face, Mr. Universe.”

“Uh, please, just call me Greg, Mark.”

The two older men shook hands, as Connie and Steven got settled on the couch, making room for Greg on the other side of Steven.

“How’s your day been, Steven?”

“It’s been really nice, Mr. Barley. Connie made together breakfast again! And then we watched a movie, and went outside and laid in the sun, and Connie read on our favorite books to me. And then Dad surprised me!”

Mr. Barley smiled, as Steven spoke with enthusiasm. His eyes caught the envelope that Steven had set down between him and Connie, however.

“And then Dad gave me this envelope from home, and it’s full of letters from everyone! I wasn’t sure when I should read them, but…do you think I can read some of them here?”

“Of course you can, Steven.”

The first letter he pulled out was from Pearl.

“ _Dear Steven,_

_I hope that when you read this letter, you’ve started to feel at least a little better._

_You know how much we all love you, and miss you, I hope! It’s so quiet without you_

_in the house, and I miss you so much. I just wish I could have helped you, like you helped me._

_Little Homeschool is doing quite well, and my students are all learning how to interact with humans_

_much better. A few have even asked about becoming counselors and therapists! I’m so proud of them._

_I hope you know I’m proud of you too. I know it’s been difficult for you, and I wish could’ve done more._

_Take all of the time you need, okay? Because no matter what, I’ll be here, waiting for you, as who you_

_are. As Steven. I trust that Connie will take good care of you, but please, remember to eat. I know you_

_weren’t eating enough while you were here. But above all else, remember I love you, Steven._

_Love, Pearl_

Steven was crying as he read Pearl’s letter.

“I-I really miss Pearl. A-and I’m-I’m really happy for her, b-but, I know that this is something we both needed.”

He sniffed, as Connie handed him a tissue. He set the letter down, as he reached for another, sniffling.

“Hey, th-this one’s from Lapis! Oh geez, this is Gem and English.”

Steven grimaced at first, but then he recognized what Lapis was saying.

_“Dear Steven,_

_I know it’s been a long time since we were able to hang out, and just talk, but I have an idea of what you’re going through. And you helped me through it, and even now, you’re always there for everybody. But sometimes, you need to think of what you need, not what others want or need. I know that you’ve been through **a lot** , and we’re all so proud of how much you’ve grown. It’s been a long time since we were “beach Summer fun buddies”. And we’ve both grown a lot. Just know that I’ll be there for you, if you ever need to talk, okay?_

_Love, Lapis”_

Steven sniffled as he remembered how he had first met Lapis in the mirror, all those years ago. How she had given up everything to protect him and the crystal gems when she had formed Malachite.

“Steven, you feeling okay, kiddo?”

Greg’s voice brought Steven back to the present. Connie was rubbing his back, but the tears wouldn’t stop coming.

Finally, Mr. Barley spoke.

“Did you have another flashback, Steven?”

At Steven’s nod, he wrote something down on his clipboard. Connie was helping Steven calm his breathing, as Greg slowly realized exactly how much of his past his son hadn’t told him about.

“I’m okay now, I think. I-I was just remembering Malachite, and how much Lapis did for us back then.”

Greg knew Steven was in good hands, but he couldn’t stop himself from the guilt he felt at not noticing his son’s mental health rapidly deteriorating. Shaking his head, he looked in the mirror.

“Come on, Universe, get it together. Steven needs you to be there for him now, more than ever.”

He straightened the collar of his shirt, before heading out, and knocking on Steven and Connie’s door.

“Are you kids ready?”

He heard giggling from behind the door, in the few moments before it was opened. Once it did, he saw Stevonnie.

“S-Stevonnie! I-I didn’t know that you two were gonna fuse for dinner!”

They giggled again.

“We didn’t either, Dadster Universe!”

Walking to the nice restaurant that Greg and Connie had chosen for the night, Greg noticed they were getting an awful lot of weird looks. Once inside the building, however, the rest of the surprise appeared.

“Happy birthday Steven!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nyahahahaha


	5. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven was curled up against Greg, thinking about how his human friends had all come to surprise for an early birthday surprise. Lars admitted that they had just wanted a reason to celebrate Steven, and everything he’s done. It hadn’t been a very big party, nor a very loud one. It was a gentle, and loving gathering between friends and family.
> 
> Connie and Greg had told him that he’d likely be staying in this small town for at least three more weeks. He was happy to learn he’d be staying longer. Greg had even mentioned that he could stay longer if he needed.
> 
> “Hey kiddo, how’re you feeling?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> th-this was 5 pages on Word...
> 
> Also, it's come to my attention that my fics are available on a different app, other than ao3, which I did not agree to. If you're not reading this on ao3, please report the app you're reading this on, as this is proving to a BIG issue.

Steven was curled up against Greg, thinking about how his human friends had all come to surprise for an early birthday surprise. Lars admitted that they had just wanted a reason to celebrate Steven, and everything he’s done. It hadn’t been a very big party, nor a very loud one. It was a gentle, and loving gathering between friends and family.

Connie and Greg had told him that he’d likely be staying in this small town for at least three more weeks. He was happy to learn he’d be staying longer. Greg had even mentioned that he could stay longer if he needed.

“Hey kiddo, how’re you feeling?”

He lazily threw one of his arms across Greg’s stomach in response.

“Tired, huh? While, Connie’s spending some time with her parents while I’m here, is there anything you’d like to do?”

Greg chuckled as Steven shrugged his shoulders. He did take notice that Steven had definitely been sleeping better. And eating more too.

Although his son was much light than he remembered, he could tell that Connie had been taking good care of him. He was able to lift him easily, as he walked back to the hotel.

“Do you want to be in my room or yours? I can grab your lion if you want.”

“mmmh…your room Dad. Thanks.”

Steven was really wiped out from the day, that much was obvious. But Greg was practically bursting with pride. Steven had come so far in just the week he had been away. But he knew that Steven still had a long way to go.

As they settled in to Greg’s bed, Steven sighed happily. It had been a long time since the two of them were able to really enjoy each other’s company. Greg thought back to the Bluebird incident a few months prior. He was so tired of gems trying to hurt Steven in any way possible. He had known that being a Crystal Gem would be dangerous, but he had never thought it would be on the level it had been.

He ruffled Steven’s hair, and he smiled in his sleep. Greg could never forgive himself for not being there for Steven more often. He remembered when he had been kidnapped by Blue, and put in the Human Zoo. How the gems had told him that Steven had accidentally done something that disrupted their forms, and the next time they saw him, he had been in tears. He remembered how excited Rose had been when they learned they would be having a baby.

He held Steven closely, remembering that day so long ago when Steven had gone off to live with the gems. His hand trembled as he wished he had been there more often. How he wished he had kept Steven with him longer before entrusting the gems with his safety. He felt Steven shifting.

“…Dad? Is everything okay?”

“Steven, I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you as often as I should have been. I-if I had just kept you with me a little longer before letting you live with the gems…maybe some of what you’ve been through could’ve been prevented. A-and I just want you to know, I’ll always be there for you now. No matter what.”

Part of Greg expected Steven to turn pink, but instead, he was shocked to see tears falling down Steven’s cheeks. Greg looked at him, clearly shocked, as Steven wrapped his arms around him. He was sniffling as he spoke.

“Dad, it’s not your fault, just like it’s not mine. You did the best you could, and I think you did better than most people would have done in your situation. A-and I know that the gems were trying…But that doesn’t mean that what I’ve gone through didn’t hurt me. O-or you.”

They stayed cuddled together for hours, talking. They both cried, but felt so much more at ease, as they drifted to sleep.

When Connie returned, she was surprised to see Greg and Steven fast asleep in Greg’s room. She smiled to herself, as she gently shut the door that they must have left ajar on accident. She sighed happily. Steven was getting more rest, eating more, and he was making improvements daily with Mr. Barley. She entered hers and Steven’s room and realized it was rather messy for only two of them to be sleeping in there.

Turning on some soft music, she started tidying up the room, as she thought back to what her mother and father had told her.

“ _One month is all the time off the school is willing to give you, Connie. Goodness knows that Steven needed this, but you need to remember that you wanted to go to this school._ ”

_Priyanka had expressed her concerns about Connie’s plan long before it had even been set in motion, and Connie wasn’t surprised in the least that she was voicing them again._

_“I know, mom. I already talked with all of my teachers, and they actually agreed to work with me on this. If Steven needs to be here longer, the school has online courses that I can take. They knew it was a possibility, okay? I’m ready for this.”_

_Although her mother had always been more concerned and controlling than her father, she had gotten better. But She still needed to realize that Connie had this under control, that was part of why Connie had asked for them to join her at the diner for dessert and to talk._

In the end, Connie had been able to explain that she had everything under control, and she was even able to prove it. As she was gathering their dirty clothes, she made a mental note that she needed to visit the local laundromat. Suddenly her music stopped, and Pearl’s ringtone chimed.

“Pearl?”

“ _Connie! I’m sorry to call you so late, I was just…wondering how Steven was doing? Did he like the letters?_ ”

Connie smiled to herself. She knew that Pearl would call either her or Greg, but not Steven, as Connie had told her that she absolutely could not do that until she had given the okay.

“He’s doing a lot better already, Pearl. And he only read two letters today, but one of them was yours. He misses you guys. And he really does miss you, Pearl. But this is so good for him. Mr. Barley is helping a lot. But next time if you want to talk, text me first and wait for me to respond please? We don’t want to accidentally trigger Steven.”

“ _R-right. I suppose you still can’t tell us when he’s coming home, can you?”_

“Not yet. I’ll let you know before we leave thought. I gotta go Pearl, it’s late.”

Connie yawned as she hung up the phone and her music began playing again. She was equally proud and worried that Pearl had been able to wait so long before checking up on them.

Connie finally finished cleaning, and decided on a bath before bed.

_Where was he?_

_He heard yelling._

_Spinning, spinning, spinning._

_The world was a blur of bright colors._

_White._

_Blue._

_Yellow._

_And pink._

_The throne room?_

_White was yelling at him._

_What had he done now?_

_Blue was in front of him._

_Yellow came into focus._

_She was looing at him, tears in her eyes._

_He couldn’t hear anything._

_Looking down, he saw Pink’s clothes._

_His gem was gone._

_Oh no._

_NO._

**_NO!_ **

Steven woke up, gasping for air. His dad was by his side, eyes wide with worry.

“Steven! A-are you okay?”

Steven couldn’t form words, he instead shook his head as he hiccupped.

The tears wouldn’t stop falling.

He couldn’t breathe.

“D-dad?”

He gasped out.

“I’m here Steven, it’s okay. You’re safe. Look at me, Schtu-ball?”

Steven looked up, still struggling to breathe.

“Breathe with me, okay?”

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

His breathing was now calming, as Greg gently rubbed his shoulders. As Steven’s thoughts at last began to slow, he realized he hadn’t taken his sleep medicine. The doctor that Connie had taken him to had prescribed a few medications for him.

He tried to open his mouth, but all that he could do was choke. Greg scooped him up, and began gently rocking. Steven was still tense as he let Greg gently brush his hair out of his eyes. He hadn’t even noticed the pink tint the room had when he awoke. He hated that color. He hated it so much. His eyes landed on his stuffed lion, which he reached for. Greg handed it to him, and instead of seeing his mother’s face, he saw Connie, when she had given him the lion. At first she had claimed that she bought it from somewhere in town, but she had finally told him that she had made it just for him.

His shoulders finally dropped, as he remembered that it was okay. Okay to be scared. Okay to be hurt by what _she_ had done. He was with his dad now. He was safe. And that was enough.

The nest morning, Connie surprised them both with homemade pancakes, along with bacon, eggs and of course large bowls of fresh fruit. She thanked whatever deity there was that she and Mr. Barley had convinced him to eat meat again, due to the amount of weight he had lost. The three sat in Greg’s room, watching Dogcopter. Despite the terrifying nightmare that Steven had experienced earlier, he was quite content to sit and watch his favorite movie with two of his favorite people.

Greg’s worry for Steven had only increased when he witnessed his son’s nightmare. He had been powerless. But once Steven woke up, he had been there, at least. So maybe he was able to help at least a little bit. He discreetly looked at Steven, who was smiling and pointing at the TV, as Connie laughed and nodded her head.

Greg knew that his son was in good hands. After all, this was _Connie_ he was talking about. He trusted her to protect Steven, probably more than he trusted the gems by now. Although he knew that the gems really had tried, he couldn’t help the feelings of resentment for what had happened to his son while he was in their care.

He had gone out to get some more snacks, since Steven and Connie had fallen asleep near the end of Dogcopter. He knew what they liked, after all. As he was walking through the ice cream section, he spotted something he _knew_ Steven would like. He hurried back to the hotel.

When he arrived, Steven and Connie were still sitting on his bed, but they had woken up while he was gone, and were now watching Crying Breakfast Friends.

“Hey, Schtu-ball! Look at what I found at the store!”

Greg watched his son’s eyes grow wide, as he let out a joyous whoop.

“ ** _COOKIE CAT!?_** ”

Greg chuckled at he handed an ice cream to each of them. He set down the rest of the snack he had bought, as he watched Steven take his first bite. He looked like he was on cloud nine, and Greg wasn’t surprised when he started floating towards the ceiling. Connie giggled as she reached for his foot, so she could pull him down.

“ _Ste-e-veeeen!”_

The two were laughing uncontrollably now. Greg sighed happily. It was going to be a great day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy~


	6. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a month since Steven was dragged not entirely willingly to a small town that was practically in the middle of nowhere. It was time for him to finally head home. He smiled as he started packing his bag. Connie had run off to the store to get some snacks for the road, since they’d be taking turns driving this time. Steven sang softly as he folded his clothes and put them in his bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally was able to write the ending lmao *cough* I hope y'all like it uwu

It’s been a month since Steven was dragged not entirely willingly to a small town that was practically in the middle of nowhere. It was time for him to finally head home. He smiled as he started packing his bag. Connie had run off to the store to get some snacks for the road, since they’d be taking turns driving this time. Steven sang softly as he folded his clothes and put them in his bag.

“I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me. I don’t need you to love me, _I_ love me. But I want you to know, you could know me. If you change your mi-i-i-ind.”

“Steven, I’m back! Are you almost ready?”

He smiled as he grabbed his stuffed lion out of his bag. He wasn’t gonna leave something that precious in his bag! Besides, he wanted to cuddle it.

“Yep! S-so, who knows I’m coming back today?”

“Well, your dad knows, of course. I think Pearl knows too, but the rest don’t know you’ll be back _today_ , just that you’ll be back soon. I’m sure they miss you. But don’t worry, Mr. Barley will be down there in a few days too!”

Steven nodded absently. He was kind of nervous to face the gems after his outburst. But at the same time, he couldn’t wait to go back home. He had missed his friends and family in Beach City. But most of all, he missed being able to go and talk to his dad whenever he needed to. He also missed the gems.

The pair checked out of the hotel, and went to Connie’s car, Steven humming the whole time.

“Steven, how about we stop somewhere for breakfast?”

He hummed in agreement, as she pointed out the small café they had been to quite frequently. They were greeted happily by all of the regulars, all of whom had gotten used to seeing the pair, or even Stevonnie on occasion.

“Hey everyone! We uh…we decided to have breakfast here one last time before we head home. B-but don’t worry, we’ll come and visit you all!”

Steven grinned as he spoke, being met with a dozen smiles. All from humans. He was happy here, but he was ready to go home.

“You kids want your usual?”

The waitress asked, nonchalantly.

Connie gave her a thumbs up and they went to sit at their favorite table, right in front of a window, with a clear view of the streets.

“Ah man, that was amazing. You ready to hit the road, Connie?”

She giggled as she wiped some whipped cream off of Steven’s cheeks.

“ _Now_ I’m ready!”

Connie hopped into the drivers seat, and Steven climbed in on the opposite side, clutching his stuffed lion. He knew that it was going to be a long drive, but he didn’t mind. After all, Connie was with him, and soon he’d be back home with his friends and family. As they began their long drive, he watched the landscape changing from the town, to farm, to forest, to another city. He sighed, content with his life for the first time in a very long time.

“Hey, Steven, mind if we make a quick stop? Looks like we need to get some more gas. Also maybe more snacks.”

He nodded in agreement.

“I can drive for awhile too, Connie, sound good?”

She chuckled.

“Yeah, that sounds great!”

It was evening when they finally arrived back at Beach City. Pearl was waiting in the kitchen, and welcomed Steven back with a warm hug.

“Oh Steven, I missed you so much! How are you feeling? Was everyone nice?”

Steven laughed at Pearl’s questions.

“I missed you too, Pearl! I’m feeling a lot better now, and yes, everyone was really nice. I-it was nice to get away from everything. A-and get some professional help.”

He hugged Pearl tightly as he spoke, and before anyone else could realize it, Amethyst and Garnet were joining the hug.

“Steven, it’s so good to have you back.”

Garnet said, as she hid her visor. Her eyes were filled with worry, as she gently ruffled Steven’s hair. Amethyst looked at Steven, hoping he had been taking better care of himself.

“Hey, your clothes actually kinda fit you again! Man, it’s good to have you back, Steven.”

Connie stood off to the side, watching the happy reunion. And she knew that they would all be okay now. She smiled softly as she realized each one was crying happy tears. Everything was okay now.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked :)
> 
> https://alexandjadasblog.tumblr.com/
> 
> (tumblr for...reasons)


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